“Their parents/guardians did not model discipleship to them.”
That was listed as the #1 reason why children leave their Christian faith by the time they become young adults according to a 2022 Barna report. If you are a Christian parent, there is a good chance that one of your top fears is your children departing from the faith as they age. This is, unfortunately, a well-founded fear considering the massive number of young adults who grew up in church, but stepped away. This is one of the primary issues that we are seeking to address as a church, however, in order to make it happen - we need you.
The reality is that many parents believe that it is primarily the church’s job to provide ‘discipleship’ for their children. This is, however, unfounded. I mean, let’s think about this for a moment. What is going to be more impactful on the spiritual formation of a child: (1) An hour a week in a Sunday school class, or (2) Waking up, getting ready for school, eating meals, sharing life, and being put down for bed EVERY DAY. There is no feasible way that churches can replace the important spiritual role of a parent. We can do our best to teach them biblical truth, present the whole gospel, and foster amazing relationships that are super important - but they look to you as their model and guide for how to live life, and that’s what is important. Living the Christian life in a sustainable way is more than filling your head with the right theology, or memorizing the plot of many-a Bible story. It’s about habits, rhythms, and patterns that your child witnesses and participates in as they mature.
So, how do we ‘do’ family discipleship? That is perhaps one of the most daunting questions any parent can ask themselves? What if I don’t know enough? What if I am not musical and can’t sing worship songs with them? What if I am struggling with my faith myself - how am I supposed to lead them? These are all real and legitimate questions to wrestle with. But, let me encourage you. Family discipleship doesn’t have to be so complicated. Here are some very simple and practical ways to implement discipleship rhythms into your family.
1 - Pray before school / bed. The act of taking a minute or two to pray with your child each day is powerful, yet so simple. The key is doing it everyday, building into them the habit and rhythm so that if you don’t do it one night, they ask “But mom, you haven’t prayed yet.” That’s the goal.
2 - Read a chapter of Scripture after dinner. You don’t have to be an expert theologian to sit down and read the Bible as a family. In fact, the regular habit of reading together will naturally lead to great questions and learning opportunities - both for you and your children.
3 - Update your playlist. Maybe find some fun worship/Christian songs to incorporate into your car-rides or whenever else you may listen to music. Songs are a powerful tool that God has given us to help our children internalize the truths of God in a fun way!
Those are just a few suggestions. How about starting small with just one? Build a habit, ask for help, and start modeling discipleship in the home. This relatively small effort will make a world of difference.
Blessings,
Julian Marcel | Pastor of Children’s Ministry | Hessel Church | julian@hessel.org
This short book provides a practical theology and methodology for husbands and fathers to lead their family biblically. Joel Beeke explores how to be a prophet, priest, and king in your household - an imperfect analogy - but picking up from the model that Jesus left us.